on irrational anger....

so it's been ages since one of us has posted. dunno if people are still reading this....just felt like venting a bit. sometimes, when i'm on the tube going someplace, i often get overcome with this sudden overpowering urge to take the person or persons sitting next to me, grab them by the collar and ram his/her/their head repeatedly against the window...or pole. actually, come to think of it, any hard surface would do. i'm really not picky, would gladly settle for anything. this irrational rage has appeared all of a sudden...dunno from where. i fear that one day will be one day...and i wont be able to stop myself from satisfying this....dare i call it a need?...inside of me? makes me kind of sort of realise that maybe, deep down inside, on some primal level, we're all just animals with base needs...but with the option of controlling those dark desires. with this realisation, i wonder what it would be like if, for one day, EVERYONE left their control at home before starting their dismal commute to work. i think it would be an exhilarating and fun filled day!! that day i will wear my steel boots, grab a baseball bat (bit cliched, but hey, it's my fantasy) and proceed to work of some anger and frustration. i can tell you one thing, if, for some fantastic reason, every time you maimed someone ( wouldn't go so far as killing anyone ) you get 1000 pounds sterling....well, needless to say i will be very damn rich at the end of the day! ahhh....its nice to dream...innit? and.....the background music to this will be wait and bleed / slipknot (which i have put in the player for your listening pleasure) ahhh....the joys of dreaming....oh and i started studying, quite some time ago to be honest, its going good, my exams are in 4 weeks, and then i will grab my future by the balls and show it where I buried the carrots. (just doesn' have quite the same ring to it in English...waar danie die wortels begrawe het, lol))

Thank Goodness For Modern Medicine

So we all might have a bright future after all…..!!

Acknowledgment of a great post!

Yeah! I totally agree with dewaldt on his philosophical rambling as I admire these men whom have reached their destiny at such a wonderful young age!!It’s always good to know at a young age exactly where you going in life and how you’re going to get there!!

I mean really ……. What are the odds of this being an accident?
Must be destiny … right?

some philosophical rambling...

so recently ive had a few conversations with some really interesting people. now, im one of those people who like to know as much as i can about any given subject, which i have been told on numerous occasions, can be quite irritating. something that has been gnawing away at the back of my mind is whether destiny and fate exist. and how do they differ? if they differ at all. ok, if i understand it right, then destiny is essentially your purpose in life, what you are meant to achieve or do. could be you were created to be the person that works in some nuclear armoury in Iran and your sole purpose in life is to be the idiot that trips and falls on the big red button that says "to launch damn big nuclear bomb to annihilate american infidels" and launch said bomb. fate on the other hand, is the banana peel you slipped on. think that sums it up...think. fate sor of nudges you in the right direction as it were. makeing sure that u do launch the bomb. now, im going out on a limb here...bear with me...if we all beleived in our destiny, would we need fate? if i did beleive in this, i should think that fate is needless, right? or am i being stupid here? The problem we are faced with, of course, is what exactly is our Destiny, and how do we go about fulfilling it? And that is where Fate has a significant part to play, for most of us have little memory of what we have committed to do, and are so caught up in the material world that we lose sight of our own unique qualities and potential. i dunno....just seems to easy for me. so your born, your destiny is imprinted by way of a small metallic chip....sorry, thats the new world order, innit (hehehe)...somehow its imprinted and then your spat out into this cold cruel world and tada!, you go about fulfilling your destiny. your whole life path mapped out and semi written allready? ok, so when i make a big oopsie, i might say "demmit, i was destined to fall over my own feet.....5 times in one day" but when i have worked my ass off for something, struggled against unbeatale odds (which i naturally overcame with debonair grace) then i'm supposed to turn around and say..."well, my destiny is fullfilled. so...where do i go next?" or something silly like that...dunno, personally i like to think that ive done it by myself, with no help from anybody or anything. think it will give me a better sense of acclomplishment than shrugging and going "oh ok, it was destined for me to become supreme ruler of this earth. where is my elite trained rabbits that took over the world on my whim?"....but the rabbits are another topic alltogether! feel free to leve a comment that could change my mind.

editor-in- chief (yup, i gave myself another promotion. unable to tell u the perks as i will have to ....you know the rest...)
dewaldt

Just A Theory

So I escorted this really pretty girl to a restaurant the other day and after some drinks we were ready to order our main course, when it finally arrived we indulged ourselves in some fine dining.
…then it hit me, like a bullet through my brain…..
EVERY goddamn time I take a bite of my fine choice off the menu, the bloody waitron comes along, obviously seeing that im incapable of saying anything, and asks us if we are enjoying our food, if everything is in order or if he could get us anything else!!!!
So being incapable of saying anything what do you do……? Smile and nod!!!!!!!

WHY!!!!!

I think I might be on to something with this one….

The only conclusion I can come up with is that all waitrons over the world are sent on a secret training course to deliberately do just that!!
If a customer cant say anything then there would quite obviously be nothing for him to complain about!!

mmmm…. Would like to here your thoughts on this one?

Profound thoughts.........

Did you ever stop and wonder......

* Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'llsqueeze these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

* Who was the first person to say, "See that chicken there... I'mgoing to eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum."

* Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn thetoast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

* Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

* Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, butdon't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

* Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when youget undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

* Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They'reboth dogs!

* Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream??

* If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests? (This one kills me!!!!)

* If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made fromvegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

* If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

* Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have thesame tune?

* Stop singing and read on . . .. . . .. . . .. .

* Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

* Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he bitesyou, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

* Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrivefaster?

a belated mothersday mention.....

This weekend was Mothers Day back in wonderful South Africa and we would like to take this opportunity to thank all our mothers and mothers-to-be and to say we hope that your children and spouses treat you like the beautiful mothers you are.
Here are some things our mothers thought us through the years:

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...."You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back tome!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going tothe store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze thatway."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS..."You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just likeyou....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Jaco

jaco turns old....

If there was one date I really dread it must be the 6th of May for that is my day of birth!! Must be some childhood mental block for we all know that this is the day the WHOLE family comes to pinch your cheek and say things like “Aaaaaaaagh aren’t you getting big” or some other stupid catch phrase they probably picked up along their lonely lives!!! But not this time!!!!! No not for me, because I am stranded on this god forsaken island with only good friends who knows birthdays shouldn’t be exploited!!

………….or so I thought…
……….

Dewaldt was the event coordinator so every body that knows him should now all simultaneously say “aaaaagh shit!!!!”
It started off slowly with a couple of beers at home then we went to walkabout in temple! This turned out to be quite fun as we dsldfolnfgld ldficz vdfznvljvh zdilu!!!
Sorry that is all I remember!!!!!!

We awoke the next day feeling quite relieved that we found the right apartment!!
So we headed off to Camden Town for last minute shopping and as dewaldt tried to get all the string of events lined up for the night it all got dazed in a cloud of what you would call really good Russian vodka!!!!
We ended up in the cross – a really cool looking club with 3 or 4 different themed dance floors- having a really great time where dewaldt hooked up with a lovely Oriental girl.

As fortune would have it I finally met someone too!! She is more eastern Europe so that makes her a Hungarian which was perfect for I was a bit peckish too! As it turned out she was much more than a beautiful face and getting to know her better was a road I would gladly travel again!

After having such a strange but wonderful turn of events I think I’m finally over my childhood fear which was replaced with drunken stupidity and fun!


Jaco

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them......

jaco is not going to like this post. we just might have words concerning this! at the top you will notice a gemsbok. beautiful arnt they? they look so serene, so peaceful. just minding their own business, not bothering anyone. now, just past them, maybe to the right, maybe to the left, you WILL NOT notice a hunter. he is hiding. hiding so that he can shoot this graceful animal and hang its horn's up on his garage wall to show all that he is the powerful man that stood 600m's away and shot this animal. yup, big strong powerful man that shoots something that doesnt even know it's being hunted. now, personally, i think this must be the epitome of manliness, hunting something that couldnt give a fuck either way, seeing as it has no sporting chance to escape or fight back. i am completely sure that if given prior notice and the killing field limited a bit, ie the big all powerful hunter has to gut the animal with a knife, after he has run it down by foot, then the buck would win.but no, this hunter is so consumed with self-importance and the knowledge that he is superior in every way, that he doenst even try to make it sporting. stand so far from the animal, get it in his scopes....and here is the difficult part.....he pulls the trigger. metres away in his telescope he sees the buck fall down, all grace fled as life leaves it mortal casing. oh, sometimes they are nice and only shoot the old ones or the males or some such load of kak, cause then they can breed and then there is more for them to kill!! brilliant! now after this strenuos hunting episode (and strenuos it was...mighty warrior gets up in the morning, gets in car and drive to where the nearest animal is docile waiting on a death it does not really want....and thne drive back) most likely they go back to camp and drink themselves into a stupor. and lo and behold...this tiring routine is carried out again. oraait....maybe i am a stupid girlie man who does not like seeing animals hurt for now reason other than for some overweight, middle aged man to feel like he has a pair of iron balls....but i dont see any sense in this!! how can there be any thrill hunting a quarry that doesnt fight back? where's the skill involved in that? can anyone tell me? i must be missing something to be so uninformed. ok, enough of that....and just in case you were wondering....i do not know the meaning of the word sarcastic

dewaldt

drum and bass....

so on friday eve, jaco, gerhard, annelie and I went to a drum and bass party. we get there and there were about 9 people inside. of course, being who we are, after annelie getting us a really bad tasting shooter first, started jamming. jaco doesnt much like d&b, but for the rest of us, the music was pumping! i've uploaded a cool tune into the player on top. just press play and then pause till its buffered. i expected pommies to party hard on such superb music, but was let down again. seems i came over with a lot of misconceptions about the people here. anycase, suffice to say, it was probably the best night ive had here so far. would have been cool if ettie could have been there, place would have rocked. jou nogals gemis toe dude! later the evening, more people started dancing, but by then we were in full stride already. the sounds coming out of the sound rig....awesome. made me think of the homegrown parties back home. just wonder why drum and bass parties are always held at these seedy joints though? what i love about d&b, is the people you get there. they normally are very down to earth people, not seemingto worry about what tomorrow brings, yet always optimistic and up for anything. no pretensions. oraait, not much else happened, well...nothing interesting. catch you on the flipside

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.....

so, a while ago i posted on going out to clubs here and not being allowed in because they require more girlie's than men. even acting like a gay couple will not let you in. so to get in you need to have women in your group. which led me to thinking, either go through earlier and get stupid drunk, so that when the time comes that you have enough dutch courage to actually try to engage a lady in light hearted banter, all that comes out of your mouth is a nothing at all like the witty, charming conversation you had all planned in your head. so that idea went out the in tray as soon as it came in. i couldnt really come up with failsafe plan to succed in my endeavour, so i went to the internet to solve my problem. and lo and behold, the mighty internet hears and answers my prayers!! this clip i found and now the problem is.....how do they do that!??!! can i learn it and where do i go to learn? obviously jaco will be the one doing the gender changing as i am way to butch and macho to ever bee seen for a girlie. ( and i think it will feel just too weird doing it) ok ok ok, so im not really all butch and macho, its a good excuse though....

posted by dewaldt

soon, they will overrun us.....

in most domestic households you'l find a little unobtrusive domestic animal. quietly sitting there, biding his time. waiting for that moment that you turn your unsuspecting back on him. as soon as you look away, this little animal will try its utmost to be the harvester of sorrow, getting back to for all those untold times that he wanted affection, or wanted to go for a walk or a drive in the family sedan (if you have one of those, me i still have the sportsmodel ;) remember that time that he tried shagging your leg.....your going to regret kicking him away. look closely at this clip.....and understand the pain and torture your lillte fido will wreak on you next time you forget to feed him. for illustration purposes, i have called fido male....beware the female domestic animal. they are worse....they remember everything and they will collect payment on every slight. i am sure somewhere there's an elder council of animals, keeping a careful track of what we do to them. i reckon soon we'll be running around on little wheels, whilst a hamster in a medical coat tries to produce electrical current out of some body orifice.....all hail the animal kingdom

i am absolutely brilliant!!

so i was sitting somewhere quiet, trying to think of a way i could serve to rid the world off its multitude's of problems. and suddenly it came to me, so quick and unexpected, that i was left reeling with my mouth hanging agape. the solution was so deviously simple, i couldn't believe it. I cant see how it hasn't been thought of before. Ok, i hope you are sitting down for this one. it's not completely worked out yet, still waiting for the authorities to get back to me as how they will be able to help me. the solution to one of our biggest problems (ok, so maybe i didn't get the answer to all problems, still working on some of them) namely racism, is so simple. we should get alien planets. planets that are inhabited by squishy, tentacled, brain sucking parasites! that way we will be too busy being a huge planetfull of speciests that we wont have enough time nor energy to waste on someone of the same specie, albeit a different colour or nationality!! see the simple logic? damn, i wonder if i will get a nobel peace prize for this? also, is that prize worth anything in money? anyway, just back to a previous post, the one about our ex, oh so dynamic leader, deputy pres jacob zuma, this is another little jewel he had to say about his lady-friend.
Jacob Zuma believed the woman who has accused him of rape was sending him sexual signals, but denied that he set her up in his guest room to test them, the Johannesburg High Court heard.
i really don't see how this idiot ever came to power. first he claims that he went on for longer than she said he did, and now he sounds as though he's denying it. oh well....hope he gets what he deserves....

more of a test than anything else

mmm...this makes me wonder why some people prefer dogs to cats. granted they can be extremly clever sometimes, even making your mouth hang open with astonishment. but i think this clip could make you think otherwise. then again, if you had a dog like this, you'd probably never have to go outside and play catch with him. keep a close eye on his back leg

on tyrants and fragile things...like the male ego

ok, so this might be a bit late, considering the blog awards are over and done with, but its funny all the same. found this blog-award site and thought it quite good.
http://zimblogawards.wordpress.com
can you spell tyrant? other thing i saw, couldnt find the link again, but i promise i did read it somewhere. no seriously i did! i have to add, i cant substaniate it, so accept it as hearsay till i get the damn link. according to the article i read, jacob zuma (for those reading who has no clue as to who he is, he was the deputy boss-man of SA and just happend to rape an HIV-infected woman and activist)this bad boy now has a court case going on. now in this article i can't find, he was arguing because the rape victim said in a media interview, she estimated the deed took about 5 - 10 minutes. where upon our enlightened ex-pres replied, quite indignantly, i might add, that it took at least a full 15 minutes! will the fragility and false pride of the male ego ever cease to amaze and shame me? good thing i dont suffer from having one of those.....

dewaldt
editor (oh yes, i gave myself a promotion, still working on my perks)

when the hightlight of your evening is a hotdog....

so last night started of bad. went to tiger tiger, where we were told we need someone of the female persuasion with us. so, with typical capetonian ingenuity, we get two girlies outside the place who agrees to say that we came with them. on getting to the door, they asked the girls their id's and of course they dont have it. so we were left stuck again. no problem, we get two more girls who agree to our proposal. at the door, the doorman asks the girls if they know us. for some reason they cant seem to answer the damn question....anycase we didnt go in. so we decide to make our merry way to ministry of sound. now, back in sa, i was under the impression that ministry is the holy grail of clubbing. oh, first we went to a little pub around the corner from ministry where some white pommie suffering from an identity crisis, he wasnt sure if he was black or not, (he had the wlalk and the talk, just not the pigment) wanted to take me on for, as he says: " giving him disrespect in front of his fine female companions and would appreciate it if me and my bitches would apologize." now, in between laughing my ass of and repeating his little littany, he reaches for an empty beer bottle, which makes me laugh all the more. eventually his girlfriend or companion as he so romantically calls it, talk sense into him and he puts the bottle down and leaves the pub with her, doing some 50 cent shuffle on his way out. so after this, still chuckling to myself, we went to the fabled ministry. good thing we knew one of the dj's playing, otherwise we would have had to pay. and we walk into the hallow halls that is the mecca of clubbing......bwhahahahahahaha!!! what a load of horse shit!! the club itself is kinda nice, but the people blow, the music....well lets just say i can make better music with my armpits. it was rubbish...dunno if it gets better if they hold a nukleuz party or something similar, but i can honestly say that was the worst clubbing experience of my life. and for some reason the women there think that they are all supermodels, cause when you accidently brush past them, trying to sorta grind out something that looks halfway decent to kak music, they whirl around and glare at you as though you have just commited some heinous crime. ffs, they should come to cape town and meet some of my exe's, maybe they can come down to reality. so, we leave.....stepping out into drizzling sunday morning. i missed cape town then...a lot. dont get me wrong, london has got a few things going for it, but never will it even begin to compete against cape town. so we buy two hotdogs and make our way home .....away from the bore that is ministry of sound

after the little braai....

oraait....see the heading? now, if someone remembered to take the camera, i would have posted pics. but seeing as someone didnt take the camera, i cant. so, i will have to tell it as it happened i guess. it was lekker, we got a bit drunk ( dunno why that has to happen, but alas, it normally does) the food was good...best meat i've had since i came to this little island. wonder why the meat here taste like rubber? ok, maybe not rubber, but definatly not the same quality as back home. been feeling a bit homesick recently, missing my bike and going for long hikes in the mountain. or just sitting on the beach watching the sun go down. oh dear, there i go missing SA again. reckon the old adage is true....you dont know what you've had till its gone. ok, back to the braai...think i might have given offence to the...erm...man that likes manly love...that was there. maybe its really narrow minded and shallow of, but i dont understand how a man can like touching another man when there is women around. even if there's no women around i cant see any reason to touch a man. *shudder* i know its narrow minded of me, and i'll probably like them if i get to know them (ok, ive know one or two and they were oraait ;) but i dunno....just feel its wrong. anycase, im probably going to get thrown with rocks for this little bigot remark i made, but thats me....saying stuff and doing without thinking. let the consequences come!!! ok, im going to go to my room and pray the gay-league isnt reading this....lol!

on laziness and chuck norris....

ja ja ja, so we havnt posted for a while. been busy the past two weeks. as said previously, we got work working on the underground. first time in my life where im doing hard physical labour....and i find that i like it. back in sa, i would never even have thought about it, but here for some reason, it feels different. dunno why....maybe its got to do with the money....or maybe the fact that i work about 4 hours a night? lol, either way, i like it. so far most things are going according to my self imposed time deadline, maybe running a few weeks behind. well on my way to retire at 35 ;-). wonder if anyone could tell me what the whole new big thing is with chick norris? i do know that when he finds out all these "joke" emails of have been going around without his stamp of approval, the world will come to a sudden and horrific end...and he probably wont race for ferrari anymore, which means that ferrari will lose...again. the tjoppies went to a place called camden today...felt like being in cape town cbd. on every corner you get some person walking all sideways towards you, going pssst and then whispering very loudly "want some ganja?", with about 4 cops 5metres away from him. wonder if a prerequisite for becoming a drug dealer is lack of intelligence? mmm...what else happened? not much really....weekend should prove interesting. we got invited to a spitbraai (and i mean a proper one with a sheep and all ;-). thety probably heard that me and jaco are spitbraai specialits, lol! anycase, not much else to post, been a busy but boring two weeks. will make a point of posting more.....

never ever will i drink again....

ok, so last night we felt like drinking a bit, as two of the house mates are leaving back to sa. we bought two bottles of vodka. jaco poured the first drinks. after throwing the first one, the bottle was finished. he actually managed to get only two drinks out of a full bottle of vodka. so, in total, i had about 4 drinks last night. and i felt ok. i'll admint i couldnt really remember my own name on various occasions, but i handled it pretty good..i think. after drinking these monstrous drinks, we decided to go out. nearly had an altercation with one of the bus drives, saying my bus-ticket didnt work. obviously, filled with dutch courage, i wanted to argue with the damn driver. and i would have won if someone didnt pay for me! driver doesnt know how lucky he is to have escaped from my scathing rhetoric. lol....so we go out (didnt really feel like drinking then, for some reason) to make a long story short, this morning i woke up groggily, really surprised to see that the train that rode over me a few times, seemed to have dissapeared. i felt like death warmed up. felt like i had alchohol poisining! really cant remember when last i had a hangover remotely on the same scale. and this is why i have vowed never ever to drink again.

health and safety....

oraait, if i fall over my feet once more today, if i stumble over some miniscule object lying on the ground...if i so much as even look as though i want to trip over my own feet running up the stairs....i think i will have to do something about my clumsiness. i keep falling, tripping and stumbling over the feet i have owned for the past 27 years. personally i would think that i would have figured out the walking/running thing by now. obviously i havnt. maybe i didnt pay attention when they were teaching "your feet and how to use them" or maybe was "sick." this is cuurently the most irritating thing that i'm struggling with. running up the escalotors.....and hey, there i fall. maybe i can trade them in somewhere? anyone know of a place i can do it? in cape town i could have gone to tygerberg hospital, if i was feeling like a daredevil. then again, i might have walked out there with my arms attached to my ass. half the fun lies in the uncertainty of what is coming or what you're getting, i know, but i think on this one i will pass. maybe i can get little trainer feet to attach to my current pair of legs? i will have to further investigate this unexplicable phenomana(?) of me falling over my own damn feet!! i cant wait to see what happens when i get older.....should get more and more interesting as the time goes by. oraait, i'm off to go for some one on one lessons on how to walk properly.

looks like u do succeed if you struggle hard enough

been sukkeling for a bit now, trying to get a media player for some tunes. finally got it right, but had to learn to some html coding along the way, as well as develop my swearing abilities, which were kinda built on a rock solid foundation allready. probaly not a bad to learn some coding considering that we're doing a website now. the only drawback this media player has, is that it looks like i can only get one song to play at a time, ie no playlist. if anyone reading this knows of an alternative player, that starts playin immeaditly as the page is opened, and is capable of having a playlist of say about 5 songs.....please post link....or summink. mmmmkay? tot later...

are south africans prone to bouts of aggression?

heard from a pommie the other day that south africans tend to go to their own pubs and clubs. now, the tjoppies has been out once or twice, hindsight shows (albeit a bit blurry) that it was unfortuanatly to places with names like zulu's or similiar. back to the pommie.....it has been said that saffa's are prone to inexplicable bouts of aggression. are we? i know i couldnt step on a cockroach without some twinge of guilt. mmm...maybe there is some trigger that makes us get active-aggressive? dunno....maybe back in sa its because of karate-water, but the shite they sell here is more likely to make you nauseous than aggressive. some brandy/cognac that passes for proper brandy here.... blegh! also brought to my attention, was the fact that most english people dont seem to want to go to these primarily south african pubs/clubs. maybe its because most south africans have a modicum of decency in them, refusing to back down when seeing something that didnt agree with the lessons moeder-lief moered into you when younger? refusing to back down when being challenged? i dont know....i do know that we dont resort to violence unless it might be fun ;).....or unless loads of brandy has been imbued....or someone says something bout our mothers...anycase, im off to do some genome modding. feel free to leave a post on your brandy influenced thoughts.

could this have anything to do with cape town's power failures....?

apparantly, and this is just going on hearsay, bart's simpleton father has accepted a post as main reactor dude at koeberg. now, whilst this is all good and well, it is kinda a bit scary if you think about it. homer is not known for his exemplary working atitude. he sorta drifts in and out of rational thought, lost in the process of thinking. his mind does not wander so much as try to take the road less travelled, or rather, not travelled at all. even with capetonians being the most relaxed people on earth, i still think he might not be welcomed with open arms. seems he's been working there for a few months now, slowly implimenting his own unique way of running a nuclear reactor. dunno if that might have anything to do with cape town's little power problem....

the good, the bad......and still looking for the beautiful

some of the people reading this post might not know who riaan is, but bear with us and you will soon find out. Suffice to say that Riaan Cruywagen is somewhat of an Afrikaans Regis or Terry Wogan, if you must. Except he rocks. A bit. here's some proof of the awesome power that is riaan cruywagen.....



Riaan Cruywagen is fluent in twenty seven of South Africa’s eleven official languages.
Riaan Cruywagen knows the news before it happens.
Riaan Cruywagen is cryogenically frozen every night for exactly eight hours. His brain impulses are monitored during this and used as templates for deciphering elaborate ancient manuscripts.
Riaan Cruywagen knew you would say that.
Riaan Cruywagen had a telekinetic showdown with Johan Stemmet. After draining all of Stemmet’s powers and rendering him severely retarded, he created Noot vir Noot and made Stemmet the host.
Some people believe Riaan Cruywagen wears a toupee - he has, in fact, one perfect hair. The one that covers his entire head - giving it that, ‘not quite real’ look. Riaan himself is not quite real.
Riaan Cruywagen was the original model for Michelangelo’s statue of David. Unfortunately, that was in the early years of Michelangelo’s career and he wasn’t yet artistically mature enough to capture the Cruywagen essence. He nearly drove himself mad with frustration until eventually he decided to settle for his number 2 choice of model in Chuck Norris who was only 3 years old when he posed for Michelangelo.
One night during an ad break on the 8 o’clock news, Riaan Cruywagen mentioned to the makeup lady that he was ‘tired of this apartheid nonsense’. Nelson Mandela was released from prison the next day.
Riaan Cruywagen wasn’t born, he thought himself into existence.
The only man made object visible (with the unaided eye) from space is the Great Wall of China. Riaan Cruywagen can see the Muir Space station with his ‘unaided eye’.
Riaan Cruywagen never blinks; if he does the entire world would just not happen for that split second.
When Sir Edmund Hillary reached the summit of Mount Everest, he was welcomed by Riaan Cruywagen, who briefly interviewed him, before wiring the information through to the SAUK.
The SAUK is actually a front for a secret society of Swiss Bankers who manipulate the world’s economy, and is chaired by non other than his most Worshipful Master, Riaan Cruywagen.
In binary code the word “Riaan Cruywagen” looks like the shroud of Turin.
When he was three Riaan Cruywagen successfully reinvented the wheel.
For his second birthday party he entertained guests by coming up with the first highly successful prototype.
Riaan Cruywagen will never die. His soul gets transferred to another identical body via various arcane rituals and current nano-technology thrice fortnightly.
Bruce Willis’ character in Die Hard is based on the unpublished autobiography written by Riaan Cruywagen at the age of 15.
Riaan Cruywagen is an accomplished author and poet - though, humble by nature, he chooses not to write under his own title but prefers to go by psuedonyms such as W. Whitman, E . Hemingway, Proust, JD Salinger and G Chaucer - amongst others.
Riaan Cruywagen’s first job was tutoring Pythagoras.
After reading the news Riaan Cruywagen built the pyramids. It took precisely 17 minutes to draw up the plans and then a further six minutes to think them into existence.

now, the hoff as all know, is that "wondrous superbeing" millions idolize. he's the star of brilliant, intellectual movies like baywatch (now also a popular porn movie, unfortuatly not starring the hoffmeister) and the hero that saves spongebob in the animated movie. personally we dont really follow the hoff like the rest of the natural world, we tend to agree with this site that proves completly and without any doubt that the hoff-man is the anti-christ. bin ladin aint got nothing on him!! http://www.esquilax.com/baywatch/index.shtml

just a quick word...waffle waffle waffle

was snowing a little bit this morning as i was coming home. though about making snow angels, naked of course, but decided against it for health reasons. felt kinda like and idiot walking around trying to catch the snow on my tongue, but hey, i felt like doing it. the novelty soon wore off as i was walking home, both wet, cold and inevitably miserable. we were thinking of travelling to places like sweden or some snow covered country, cause what they do in travellers' mags, is make it look really nice and pretty(so i think that's misleading) but the cold hard truth is...you freeze ur nads off!! its cold and miserable. might look clean and pristine, but that's mostly due to the fact that its too cold to do anything outdoors. obviously you get those semi-recce people who go gung-ho and do the brave, hard man act, go out and challenge nature, but i will decline i think. friend of mine said its a differnt sort of cold, not so "wet", but going with the way i struggled to thaw out this morning, i doubt i want to experience that. so, to all those gung-ho brave people out there doing all sorts of outdoorsy cold weather stuff...i applaud you and leave you to it. much rather would i be traipsing around some sun drenched country, drinking sundowners, getting horrible inebriated. come to think of it, the tjoppies havent been drunk for some time. think we will have to remedy that.....

I always wondered how the two tjoppies would look like if we were to appear on the best cartoon show in the world (South Park)!! HaHaHaHa So this is what I came up with!!! You could make you own South Park characters at http://www.planearium2.de/flash/spstudio.html
 

11 times in history that the word Fuck�was appropriate.


11. What the @#$% do you mean, we are sinking? - Capt. E.J. Smith of RMS Titanic, 1912
10.What the @#$% was that? - Mayor of Hiroshima, 1945
9. Where did all those @#$%ing Indians come from? - Custer, 1877
8. Any @#$%ing idoit could understand that. - Einstein, 1938
7. It does so @#$%ing look like her! - Picasso, 1926
6. How the @#$% did you work that out? - Pythagoras, 126 BC
5. You want WHAT on the @#$%in ceiling? - Michelangelo, 1566
4. Where the @#$% are we? - Amelia Earhart, 1937
3. Scattered @#$% showers, my ass! - Noah, 4314 BC
2. Aw c'mon. Who the @#$% is going to find out? - Bill Clinton, 1998
1. Geez, I didn't think they'd get this @#$%^ing mad. - Saddam Hussein, 2003 

survival rules for modern man

The 12 Suggested Steps for non Single men's survival...

1 .... We admit that we are powerless over Women, that we make their lives unmanageable

2 .... We have come to believe there is a Power greater than ourselves and that She can be mad at us with no warning and without need of male logic to back it up

3 .... We have made a decision to turn our wallets and credit cards over to the care of Her as She tells us to

4 .... We have had to watch Her make a searching and fearless moral inventory of our magazine rack

5 .... We have admitted to Her, to Her friends, and to NO male ever the exact nature of our wrongs against Her

6 .... We are entirely ready to have Her remove all of these defects of character whenever and wherever She wishes, including in public or while we are watching the game with our friends

7 .... Humbly allowed Her to remove all of our pride and our testosterone with it

8 .... Made a list of all women we had dated and became willing to never see, talk to or think of them again

9 .... Made every possible attempt to never, in any case, in any circumstance ever compare Her to any other woman but allow Her to compare how we "measure up" at Her discretion

10 .... Discontinued taking inventory of any woman walking by, and when we did so, promptly forgot about it

11 .... Sought through soap operas and Cosmopolitan quizes to improve our contact with Her as She would have us understand Her, praying only that we not piss Her off by mistake yet again

12 .... Having been neutered as a result of these steps, we try to carry this message to our single friends that they might suffer with us

little philosphical rambling...aka load of horse shit!!

Just a quick observation….looking around I have noticed that men who tend to be well mannered and decent ( I shudder to use the word nice) seem to be, and no pun intended, pulling on the…erm...short end of the stick. Should I, in case I run into one of these sorry persons, inform them that being nice (hate that word) might not be enough to get them what they want or desire? Shall I put a dampener on their spirits? I might just spare them a few years of struggling before they come to see for themselves that being nice gets you nowhere? Being understanding, being able to see things from another person’s viewpoint, that’s all good and wee if you live in a perfect world. Those might be characteristics other nice people appreciate. Its just a bit disappointing that we don’t live in a perfect world. If it was, you could drink beer by the gallon and not pick up any weight. Come to think of it, you’d never have to worry about being fat, cause being a perfect world, you’d either not get fat or you would still be accepted whatever. Its nice dreaming sometimes, but sooner or later, you get struck by the ultimately heavy brick of reality. And sometimes, just sometimes, that brick tends to hit you squarely between the eye’s. and from what I hear, that could have a very sobering effect on a person. It’s a good thing I don’t know any of those nice people , could just begin to feel sorry for them. I might be mistaken for being nice. One day, when I rule the world, I will remove that word from the dictionary. Might make it my life’s mission in fact. Scrapping the word…nice….

this is the plight many men are faced by on a daily basis. i wonder if women could even begin to understand the hardships we face every single day of our existance. it's hard being a man, surrounded by so many clingy beers!! you dont really know where to begin, so many different kinds of beers around. aaarrgh, choices choices.!! think thats the bane of our existance....dewaldt

the real truth behind the thames whale....could it be why london is being renamed londonistan? seems to me, a poor uneducated saffa boy, that the infidel is slowly but surley infiltrating london. i think it will be about another 5 years, then london will be run by hate spouting clerics and women will all be walking around in those little ninja suits their men tell them to wear. personally, i will put up the brave fight once they start wearing those little unsexy suits. it will be cruel and unusual punishment for men all around th uk once they start wearing those robes. dewaldt

So, this is what we gave up! It's quite a shitty deal if you think about it........ But we will be back (Bigger than ever)!!!!!So lock away your girlfriends and hide your daughters, 'coz we are on our way........soon........

Our home away from home!!! This is Canary Wharf, Not too bad considering the places we have seen!!!! But still not Cape Town, ct is in our blood, our hearts, and it helps that it's a bit warmer too!!

if there was such a thing as true love then this must be it!!!!!!!! i don't think there will ever be something more beautiful than this, mans best creation ever! one day she will be mine!!! me love you long time baby..... 

This pic might be the reason why 300 South Africans decide to pour into london on a daily basis!!!! just a bit shitty it must close down soon, something to do with illegal substances or something stupid like that.

We just want to say congrats to some of our friends who experienced the first two rings of life!! the engagement-ring and the wedding-ring..........hope the suffer-ring is worth it!!!(just kidding) we love it when all the beautiful women gets taken....... 

Dewaldt's domestic skills came in handy for the grub! good old South African pooitjie!! 

Mr confusious himself!!! only a mother could love a face like that!!! Hahahahah, another christmas moment where everything you do turnes out blurry the next day!  

looks like it was a very merry christmas!!!!!!!

dewaldt....funny angle though

jaco....tada!!

It's a start.....innit?

oraait, me and jaco has been talking and talking about this, so eventually, we have started on the site. might take us awhile to get it the way we want to, but hey, a person has to start somewhere. think we might have a few clashes concerning this.....sal maar moet kyk wie wen. the title should have been 3 tjoppies op 'n eiland, but adriaan needed to come home for personal reasons. we came over, all bright eyed and bushy tailed( specially in jaco's ass's case) LOL!! wonder what he's gonna say when he reads this. hehehe.....anycase, we were overflowing with ideas and enthusiasm. somehow, over the next month and half, that bright look in our eyes slowly faded as we were confronted with what is london. man, was this a reality check or what. knocked doors for a while, decided we were to nice to trick people into signing contracts, so we left that. or maybe it was the endless trudging through the rain and cold weather that made us stop. either way, we did. got work as security. now, i dont now if some ssecurity guard is reading this, and i mean no offence when i say this. when you work as a security guard, and you have semi average intelligence, security is a sure fire way of getting rid of that vestige of intelligence. its 12 hours of doing absolutly fuck all. nothing!! standing outside in the unbeleivable cold, shivering ur skinny ass off. thats it. slowly, so slow you can almost sense it flowing out of you, your intelligence seeps out of you, intertwined with your last warmth. and then you go home. thats about it. wish i could say it is glamorous, or maybe that we meet all these famous people but i cant. we do see some "famous" brits now and then, but i wouldnt recognize them if they carried big neon signs around with them. so...it makes no difference to me. wait, i did see liz hurley...that was almost worth it. for such an old lady, she sure has a sweet ass! almost worth it....now, things are picking up. its looking way better. we got what we needed for the tubes. so i reckon we should start working there in about a weeks time, maybe sooner. then we start studying, both on the languages and guitar and cisco. so, seems like we have a few busy months ahead of us. sal maar moet vas byt en deur druk. ok, think this is enough for now, will post more when i get more time, or something funny happens.