a belated mothersday mention.....

This weekend was Mothers Day back in wonderful South Africa and we would like to take this opportunity to thank all our mothers and mothers-to-be and to say we hope that your children and spouses treat you like the beautiful mothers you are.
Here are some things our mothers thought us through the years:

1. My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION..."Just wait until your father gets home."
2. My Mother taught me about RECEIVING...."You are going to get it when we get home!"
3. My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE..."What were you thinking? Answer me when I talk to you! Don't talk back tome!"
4. My Mother taught me LOGIC..."If you fall out off that swing and break your neck, you're not going tothe store with me."
5. My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE..."If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze thatway."
6. My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD..."If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."
7. My Mother taught me HUMOR..."When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
8. My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT..."If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."
9. My Mother taught me about GENETICS..."You're just like your father."
10. My Mother taught me about my ROOTS..."Do you think you were born in a barn?"
11. My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE..."When you get to be my age, you will understand."And last but not least...
12. My Mother taught me about JUSTICE..."One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just likeyou....Then you'll see what it's like!"

Jaco

jaco turns old....

If there was one date I really dread it must be the 6th of May for that is my day of birth!! Must be some childhood mental block for we all know that this is the day the WHOLE family comes to pinch your cheek and say things like “Aaaaaaaagh aren’t you getting big” or some other stupid catch phrase they probably picked up along their lonely lives!!! But not this time!!!!! No not for me, because I am stranded on this god forsaken island with only good friends who knows birthdays shouldn’t be exploited!!

………….or so I thought…
……….

Dewaldt was the event coordinator so every body that knows him should now all simultaneously say “aaaaagh shit!!!!”
It started off slowly with a couple of beers at home then we went to walkabout in temple! This turned out to be quite fun as we dsldfolnfgld ldficz vdfznvljvh zdilu!!!
Sorry that is all I remember!!!!!!

We awoke the next day feeling quite relieved that we found the right apartment!!
So we headed off to Camden Town for last minute shopping and as dewaldt tried to get all the string of events lined up for the night it all got dazed in a cloud of what you would call really good Russian vodka!!!!
We ended up in the cross – a really cool looking club with 3 or 4 different themed dance floors- having a really great time where dewaldt hooked up with a lovely Oriental girl.

As fortune would have it I finally met someone too!! She is more eastern Europe so that makes her a Hungarian which was perfect for I was a bit peckish too! As it turned out she was much more than a beautiful face and getting to know her better was a road I would gladly travel again!

After having such a strange but wonderful turn of events I think I’m finally over my childhood fear which was replaced with drunken stupidity and fun!


Jaco

Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them......

jaco is not going to like this post. we just might have words concerning this! at the top you will notice a gemsbok. beautiful arnt they? they look so serene, so peaceful. just minding their own business, not bothering anyone. now, just past them, maybe to the right, maybe to the left, you WILL NOT notice a hunter. he is hiding. hiding so that he can shoot this graceful animal and hang its horn's up on his garage wall to show all that he is the powerful man that stood 600m's away and shot this animal. yup, big strong powerful man that shoots something that doesnt even know it's being hunted. now, personally, i think this must be the epitome of manliness, hunting something that couldnt give a fuck either way, seeing as it has no sporting chance to escape or fight back. i am completely sure that if given prior notice and the killing field limited a bit, ie the big all powerful hunter has to gut the animal with a knife, after he has run it down by foot, then the buck would win.but no, this hunter is so consumed with self-importance and the knowledge that he is superior in every way, that he doenst even try to make it sporting. stand so far from the animal, get it in his scopes....and here is the difficult part.....he pulls the trigger. metres away in his telescope he sees the buck fall down, all grace fled as life leaves it mortal casing. oh, sometimes they are nice and only shoot the old ones or the males or some such load of kak, cause then they can breed and then there is more for them to kill!! brilliant! now after this strenuos hunting episode (and strenuos it was...mighty warrior gets up in the morning, gets in car and drive to where the nearest animal is docile waiting on a death it does not really want....and thne drive back) most likely they go back to camp and drink themselves into a stupor. and lo and behold...this tiring routine is carried out again. oraait....maybe i am a stupid girlie man who does not like seeing animals hurt for now reason other than for some overweight, middle aged man to feel like he has a pair of iron balls....but i dont see any sense in this!! how can there be any thrill hunting a quarry that doesnt fight back? where's the skill involved in that? can anyone tell me? i must be missing something to be so uninformed. ok, enough of that....and just in case you were wondering....i do not know the meaning of the word sarcastic

dewaldt

drum and bass....

so on friday eve, jaco, gerhard, annelie and I went to a drum and bass party. we get there and there were about 9 people inside. of course, being who we are, after annelie getting us a really bad tasting shooter first, started jamming. jaco doesnt much like d&b, but for the rest of us, the music was pumping! i've uploaded a cool tune into the player on top. just press play and then pause till its buffered. i expected pommies to party hard on such superb music, but was let down again. seems i came over with a lot of misconceptions about the people here. anycase, suffice to say, it was probably the best night ive had here so far. would have been cool if ettie could have been there, place would have rocked. jou nogals gemis toe dude! later the evening, more people started dancing, but by then we were in full stride already. the sounds coming out of the sound rig....awesome. made me think of the homegrown parties back home. just wonder why drum and bass parties are always held at these seedy joints though? what i love about d&b, is the people you get there. they normally are very down to earth people, not seemingto worry about what tomorrow brings, yet always optimistic and up for anything. no pretensions. oraait, not much else happened, well...nothing interesting. catch you on the flipside

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.....

so, a while ago i posted on going out to clubs here and not being allowed in because they require more girlie's than men. even acting like a gay couple will not let you in. so to get in you need to have women in your group. which led me to thinking, either go through earlier and get stupid drunk, so that when the time comes that you have enough dutch courage to actually try to engage a lady in light hearted banter, all that comes out of your mouth is a nothing at all like the witty, charming conversation you had all planned in your head. so that idea went out the in tray as soon as it came in. i couldnt really come up with failsafe plan to succed in my endeavour, so i went to the internet to solve my problem. and lo and behold, the mighty internet hears and answers my prayers!! this clip i found and now the problem is.....how do they do that!??!! can i learn it and where do i go to learn? obviously jaco will be the one doing the gender changing as i am way to butch and macho to ever bee seen for a girlie. ( and i think it will feel just too weird doing it) ok ok ok, so im not really all butch and macho, its a good excuse though....

posted by dewaldt

soon, they will overrun us.....

in most domestic households you'l find a little unobtrusive domestic animal. quietly sitting there, biding his time. waiting for that moment that you turn your unsuspecting back on him. as soon as you look away, this little animal will try its utmost to be the harvester of sorrow, getting back to for all those untold times that he wanted affection, or wanted to go for a walk or a drive in the family sedan (if you have one of those, me i still have the sportsmodel ;) remember that time that he tried shagging your leg.....your going to regret kicking him away. look closely at this clip.....and understand the pain and torture your lillte fido will wreak on you next time you forget to feed him. for illustration purposes, i have called fido male....beware the female domestic animal. they are worse....they remember everything and they will collect payment on every slight. i am sure somewhere there's an elder council of animals, keeping a careful track of what we do to them. i reckon soon we'll be running around on little wheels, whilst a hamster in a medical coat tries to produce electrical current out of some body orifice.....all hail the animal kingdom

i am absolutely brilliant!!

so i was sitting somewhere quiet, trying to think of a way i could serve to rid the world off its multitude's of problems. and suddenly it came to me, so quick and unexpected, that i was left reeling with my mouth hanging agape. the solution was so deviously simple, i couldn't believe it. I cant see how it hasn't been thought of before. Ok, i hope you are sitting down for this one. it's not completely worked out yet, still waiting for the authorities to get back to me as how they will be able to help me. the solution to one of our biggest problems (ok, so maybe i didn't get the answer to all problems, still working on some of them) namely racism, is so simple. we should get alien planets. planets that are inhabited by squishy, tentacled, brain sucking parasites! that way we will be too busy being a huge planetfull of speciests that we wont have enough time nor energy to waste on someone of the same specie, albeit a different colour or nationality!! see the simple logic? damn, i wonder if i will get a nobel peace prize for this? also, is that prize worth anything in money? anyway, just back to a previous post, the one about our ex, oh so dynamic leader, deputy pres jacob zuma, this is another little jewel he had to say about his lady-friend.
Jacob Zuma believed the woman who has accused him of rape was sending him sexual signals, but denied that he set her up in his guest room to test them, the Johannesburg High Court heard.
i really don't see how this idiot ever came to power. first he claims that he went on for longer than she said he did, and now he sounds as though he's denying it. oh well....hope he gets what he deserves....

more of a test than anything else

mmm...this makes me wonder why some people prefer dogs to cats. granted they can be extremly clever sometimes, even making your mouth hang open with astonishment. but i think this clip could make you think otherwise. then again, if you had a dog like this, you'd probably never have to go outside and play catch with him. keep a close eye on his back leg

on tyrants and fragile things...like the male ego

ok, so this might be a bit late, considering the blog awards are over and done with, but its funny all the same. found this blog-award site and thought it quite good.
http://zimblogawards.wordpress.com
can you spell tyrant? other thing i saw, couldnt find the link again, but i promise i did read it somewhere. no seriously i did! i have to add, i cant substaniate it, so accept it as hearsay till i get the damn link. according to the article i read, jacob zuma (for those reading who has no clue as to who he is, he was the deputy boss-man of SA and just happend to rape an HIV-infected woman and activist)this bad boy now has a court case going on. now in this article i can't find, he was arguing because the rape victim said in a media interview, she estimated the deed took about 5 - 10 minutes. where upon our enlightened ex-pres replied, quite indignantly, i might add, that it took at least a full 15 minutes! will the fragility and false pride of the male ego ever cease to amaze and shame me? good thing i dont suffer from having one of those.....

dewaldt
editor (oh yes, i gave myself a promotion, still working on my perks)

when the hightlight of your evening is a hotdog....

so last night started of bad. went to tiger tiger, where we were told we need someone of the female persuasion with us. so, with typical capetonian ingenuity, we get two girlies outside the place who agrees to say that we came with them. on getting to the door, they asked the girls their id's and of course they dont have it. so we were left stuck again. no problem, we get two more girls who agree to our proposal. at the door, the doorman asks the girls if they know us. for some reason they cant seem to answer the damn question....anycase we didnt go in. so we decide to make our merry way to ministry of sound. now, back in sa, i was under the impression that ministry is the holy grail of clubbing. oh, first we went to a little pub around the corner from ministry where some white pommie suffering from an identity crisis, he wasnt sure if he was black or not, (he had the wlalk and the talk, just not the pigment) wanted to take me on for, as he says: " giving him disrespect in front of his fine female companions and would appreciate it if me and my bitches would apologize." now, in between laughing my ass of and repeating his little littany, he reaches for an empty beer bottle, which makes me laugh all the more. eventually his girlfriend or companion as he so romantically calls it, talk sense into him and he puts the bottle down and leaves the pub with her, doing some 50 cent shuffle on his way out. so after this, still chuckling to myself, we went to the fabled ministry. good thing we knew one of the dj's playing, otherwise we would have had to pay. and we walk into the hallow halls that is the mecca of clubbing......bwhahahahahahaha!!! what a load of horse shit!! the club itself is kinda nice, but the people blow, the music....well lets just say i can make better music with my armpits. it was rubbish...dunno if it gets better if they hold a nukleuz party or something similar, but i can honestly say that was the worst clubbing experience of my life. and for some reason the women there think that they are all supermodels, cause when you accidently brush past them, trying to sorta grind out something that looks halfway decent to kak music, they whirl around and glare at you as though you have just commited some heinous crime. ffs, they should come to cape town and meet some of my exe's, maybe they can come down to reality. so, we leave.....stepping out into drizzling sunday morning. i missed cape town then...a lot. dont get me wrong, london has got a few things going for it, but never will it even begin to compete against cape town. so we buy two hotdogs and make our way home .....away from the bore that is ministry of sound